Yes, I will fund your movie
Dear Sir,
I am happy to provide completion funds for “The Danish Girl,” provided the following: 1. The “Danish” must refer to the pastry and not the nationality. 2. Gwyneth Paltrow must come to my apartment (on a night when my roommate has a class), where we will play several games of “Upwords.” 3. I can bring my cat, also named Gwyneth, to the premiere, where she can have her own seat (Please note: The standard spring-loaded theater seat will not work, because Gwyneth is a tiny kitty).
I should be getting a check from my insurance settlement any day now, so if you don’t mind a third party check, I can just sign it right over.
Let me know if this is all cool, or just write me back and let me know how your day is going. Seriously, I’m always available. Also, don’t forget to “Friend” me on the Facebook.
Yours in Christ,
Robert Yasumura
